I had a phone call at work yesterday from the guy I have my printing contract with.....I get on really well with him and haven't spoken to him for a week or two as he's been on holiday.

Anyway, he said he had a couple of things to discuss and we talked firstly about another girl that I work with and what kind of work he may be able to do for her, and then he said, "Oh yeah and the other thing was about XXXX (Oink's real name)".

Me: What??

Him: You know him?

Me: Erm, yes

Him: Hang on, just let me look at this a minute...............oh yeah, and I quote "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm trout!"

I died! I have never ever gone so red in my life! i blushed more than the most blushiest person in blushville!

As I said in my last entry, I spent most of Tuesday morning & lunch time counselling Oink about him getting back with his ex. It was really quite traumatic for me, but I would rather know he was talking to me about it than someone else I guess. Anyway, after half an hour on the phone to him at lunchtime, I got an email from him back in our normal style and he said "Let's not get too heavy and discuss serious matters unless one of us is really down - lets stick to sarcasm and sex talk, it seems to work for us - what d'ya reckon kebab-muncher?" and the email conversation went on in a similar vein for about 10 exchanges.

In one of the final replies, I somehow managed to copy my printer in on the email! He found this hysterical! I was mortified.......especially when he insisted on going through each reply and reading out key phrases!!!

This included:

* "Kebab Muncher" (as previously mentioned)

* "Close your eyes and go lick a wet fish"

* "Brad's botty-banger"

* "Actually, me & Lorna prefer Spunk My Self Laughing"

* "Hiya Lesbo"

* "I think I love you"

* "What the fuckin' hell are you on about, you muppet!"

* "I am just the funniest bird in the world!"

It could have been SO much worse, but I think I got away quite lightly really!

My printer said to me "Can't you just tell the bloke that you want to shag him?", which made me blush even more furiously!!! He also had a go at me for trying to get out of my printing contract as he's 50 and has a dodgy ticker, LOL!!!!

Of course, Oink finds it HIGHLY amusing!!!

:)