What kind of drunk are you?

I'm not sure I agree with that! After all, it's true, noone DOES ever see me drunk....honestly, I just don't GET drunk. ;o)

So, it's Easter weekend! And what am I doing? Feigning sickness to get out of having to spend two nights holed up in a caravan in Clacton with Mark, the munchkin and my in-laws!!! Well, I'm not feigning COMPLETELY - I don't actually feel too good, but I simply couldn't face it when it came right down to it!

So, to get over my guilt trip, I've spent the entire day doing housework! Maybe I should have gone down there after all!!!

I feel a bit lost at the moment....nothing major, just a bit out of sorts. I'm not sure why it is either. I knwo that there's going to be some upheaval at work, but that wont be happening until the beginning of May - my boss is being put on a 6 month secondment to another department, and I get the wonderful honour of reporting to our Director directly! Eeeeeekkk!! I'm not sure how I feel about that at the mo, which could be why I'm feeling a bit strange - I only found out yesterday!

I'm also feeling that 'itchy feet' thing again. I've been looking exes and old mates up on friends reunited and things like that.....haven't done anything about contacting any of them though, but perhaps I will. Heh heh, Marks away for two nights and I'm already ringing exes!!! I know he wouldn't mind though.

Hmmmm, would I mind if it was the other way round? I'm not sure. I don't know whether I've got much jealousy in me. I don't ever remember being jealous of anyone. Strange that - I guess I ust have been at some stage, but I've never really thought about it before.

When Paul (the one love of my life) got married, very soon after we split up, I remember being really really angry, and quite upset at it all, but I don't remember being jealous, as that would mean that I wanted what SHE had. And what she had was someone who was using her and didn't really love her - so, no, I wasn't jealous of that!

I want to talk to Paul.

I think the last few months have been building up to me realising that that statement is what's wrong with me. It's been almost 4 years now since I last spoke to him, and nearly 3 years since I heard anything about him. I miss him - really badly. It's not so much that I'd want to be back with him or anything, it's just that he understands me, knows me, and I miss that. I want to talk to someone who can understand what I'm feeling without me needing to say it - I don't even have my two closest friends around to do that with any more, and it's harder to replace them than I ever thought possible.

Oh my God, what a depressing entry! I'll probably delete it later!

Ha!!! THAT's what being on my own does to me!!