I turned into a cliche this morning.

I helped an old lady across the road!

I did this for a number of reasons:

1) I'm fundamentally a good person

2) She asked me to

3) She looked the part - I mean, if you're going to do this kind of thing, then you've got to find someone who fits the cliche. This prime specimen was all of 3 foot 7 (including hump), was wearing a marine blue raincoat, bandages round her legs and her house slippers! She also called me 'dear' all the time and was extremely grateful and kept going on about how she couldn't cope with the wind (I was assuming that she was talking about the weather!).

So - that was my good deed for the day and I felt much better for it. And then I got on the Tube and was standing next to...........yes, you've guessed it, a 30+ smooching couple! YUCK!!!!