I can't really describe how I'm feeling at the moment - although it IS only just gone 7am and I was up until about 2am, so really, it could just be my scrambled, tired brain that's making me feel this way, and not just emotional confusion!

I talked to K again last night for ages. We used our time a bit more constructively though. Me being rather impateient confronted him with the 'what exactly is going on here?' question and we discussed it all a bit more seriously. Which was good! Honest it was. Our trouble is that when we chat, we try and keep it all light-hearted and stuff and yet always end up getting to the stage of "I wish I was there", "So do I" which, lets face it, isn't going to help either of us!

So, we talked about it, and he really does sound very sincere - I hope that I can trust him, although, as I said before, he's hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. I know his biggest problem at the moment is his workload.....he works around 15 hours a day at the moment, either AT work or at home, and it really is a busy time for him. He said to me that he really doesn't think it's a good idea for us to meet right now as he wouldn't like to meet me and then not be able to see me again for a week. I told him that I had commitments as well and that I wasn't exactly high maintenance, and he got quite annoyed and said, OK, HE wouldn't want to meet me and then not be able to see me as he's sure that once we met, he'd want to spend a lot of time with me, and that would either a) frustrate him or b) interfere with his work - neither of which would be very productive, just for the sake of waiting 3 or 4 weeks.

The thought of waiting 3 or 4 weeks though is killing me, but he asked 'Or are you more impatient?' and of course I had to say 'No' cos otherwise I was starting to sound very pushy - heh heh. So, we've made a very difficult agreement. Hardly any online chat - just once or twice a week, as all we're doing is starting to wind each other.........the more we chat, the more we want to meet. BUT, unlimited emails are allowed!

I LOVE getting emails from K - they are SO full of contrasts.............he's very very intelligent and holds quite a respectable position at work etc, and he can be quite businessy, but then he degenerates into juvenille delinquency and a bit of a perv at the drop of a hat! One email I had from him included the terms 'I fancy you like crazy.....' and '....in today's hectic lifestyle.....' - which made me giggle!!

So, just emails for us, occasional chat, and then, when he's feeling less stressed and more on top of everything, he'll ring me. I'm going to cut and paste part of the conversation about this part:

K: but can we agree to do what we say & then I maybe could see u in the nxt couple of wks?

Me: Yeah, I agree to your conditions ;)

K: then I'll do whatever u want when we meet

Me: whatever I want?

K: whatever & however

Me: and the restraints on this are what?>

K: none

K: i promise providing its not embarressing

Me: So, if I think we should do something, you'd do it??

K: yes

Me: Cool

Me: And how long would I get you for?

Me: *is thinking*

K: however long u want

Me: a weekend?

K: yes if u want

Me: Away from London?

K: but not just in bed

Me: no, not just in bed

K: if u want

Me: well, thats what I'd like then

K: okie dokie Space babe

Me: lol

Me: am I being pushy?

K: nope

K: * thinks pushy bird*

So that's it then - I'm a pushy bird, but it looks like I MAY just get my man!!! Hurrah for me!