Ok, so after I posted my last proper entry (in fact I was still finishing it at first!), I spoke to The Fox.

I'd been feeling very emotional, and was doing another kind of 'feelings assessment'. And to be quite honest, I still can't work my feelings out properly. And I still feel that is being very unfair on The Fox.

There are 2 factors which I seem to need to sort out, and in one way they seem slightly contradictory. (a) I don't feel that I feel 'enough' to carry on as we are, and (b) I don't think I really want to be loved.

Anyway - I had the whole discussion with The Fox about it, and also every day since! And we agreed to call it off.Maybe, when I sort my head out, I'll feel different, but maybe not......it's a risk both of us have to take.

I got really upset, and then Oink worked out I wasn't quite myself and rang me, and I told him everything. He was pretty shocked as he didn't even know that I'd been seeing someone. It seemed pretty surreal talking to him properly about my own feelings and stuff as we don't - we just talk about absolute bollocks all the time.

I'm still worried that it might change things between us. He's become a very close friend and I don't want to lose him.

So, once again, I am single. With not even a 'first reserve' on the horizon again! I am slipping SO badly, LOL!!