Things are getting bad when I can't even convince the guy that admits I'm the best shag he's ever had and who apparently loves me to pieces, to be my shag-buddy!!

What the fuck is up with that?????

We had a good night Saturday - no, correction, make that a great night. We performed all kinds of bedroom antics Sat night and yesterday morning, and yet......nothing. :(

I am devesataed. Completely. And now, I have to cut him totally out of my life cos I simply can't bear having him as a 'friend'. He's not even got a good reason for this - hell, he hasn't even got a BAD reason for it. In a way, I wish he'd just admit to shagging someone else or something, cos at least then I'd get that closure.

I know my weaknesses though, and I know I can't remain 'manless' for very long. But what tactic do I go for - the 'find a man for a loving stable relationship' or 'shag around senselessly'??? Trouble is, I thought I'd managed the first one and I was totally deluded, and now I'm doubting my ability to do the second one.

Although, saying that, I have finally agreed to meet a guy tomorrow night. But I don't think it would be anything like that. He's funny and he makes me laugh, but......well, you know....

All this stuff with The Fox has just knocked the life out of me, that's the problem. For the past month or so, I've been in a fog. I DO feel lost without him, and yet me & Chel were trying to work out why? What is it about him.....and I can't work it out. He just 'feels right'. And that's it really. He's not got a dynamic personality. Isn't very good looking. He doesn't have me in hysterics all the time. I don't love being around him and his mates. I've never met any of his family.

But I feel comfortable with him....and then (of course) there's the sex. *sigh* Well, not any more obviously.

And I just miss him so much already. I've dehydrated myself crying!

I WILL get over this though. Even if I have to shag around senselessly, LOL!