I've just realised that it will probably be this entry that makes my 10,000th hit on my counter!!!! Woohoo! How exciting!

So - if YOU are lucky number 10,000 - let me know and I'll immortalise you in my next entry. :) Oh, and just hitting refresh doesn't work as it only counts unique hosts - so ner!

I had an awful lunch yesterday, Mark forced me into seeing him - supposedly to 'talk about things' but mainly just to act all weird I think. This man now seriously freaks me out. I don't knwo what is going on with him, he has turned into a monster....he is nasty, very very selfish, totally pig-headed and self-absorbed, hypocritcal and what's worse, he has put on loads of weight, always looks tired, unkempt and well, just ugly really.

It's quite distressing to look at. This should be a man who is in the bloom of health. He's gone from having a full time wife (who he apparently wasn't happy with) and child to having a new 'lurve' and a child only part time, and not overnight THAT often! He should look an absolute picture rather than rough and gruff and sleazy!

Anyway, lunch with him was a complete waste of time, and I ended up just feeling tired, emotional and helpless yet again. It's like he's trying to keep me permanently stressed. I hate him. I really do. I don't want to have anything to do with him. WHY did I choose HIM to have a child with - it was ludicrous!!! We are SO unsuited. But there you go.....apparently this is what it's like when you split up with someone - I'm gald I have never ever been through this before. I have never stopped having strong feelings for anyone I've split from, I always feel pretty warm about exes!

What a lovely new experience.

Anyway, when I got back from lunch, I rang Trainer, and he cheered me up a lot. He was in a restaurant having lunch with a mate.......and then he said something to this mate about me, which received a funny reply........but it wasn't what was said, it was the fact that his mate knew about me that got me. A bit later on, I spoke to him again and he was talking about the guys in his office and mentioned that they knew about me. I find this really bizarre now that I know the whole story, but I do remember what he said before about him telling them about me! It does make me feel good, although I guess it should worry me - I'll work out my feelings one day!

Anyway - Valentine's day tomorrow, it doesn't seem a year ago that Mark forgot to buy me a card LAST V-Day. I have sent 3 cards this year and a couple of e-cards. This year I have sent them to K, C and MFG. I have also sent e-cards to Trainer and NoNoNoNo. I have received a card from K, which was really quite soppy! I doubt if I will receive any more than that, unless MFG sends me one!

So - any bets anyone on whether I'll get any more??? Even if it's just one from my mum, LOL!!!! Leave me a comment! Oooo, or send me an e-Valentine - ha ha!!