Well, I think I'm starting to come out the other side of all the crap I have been feeling and going through lately, which is cool! Maybe I'll actually have sex soon, ha ha!!

Talking of which, The Dutchman has been very attentive this week. we have had about three really long conversations on the phone, along with lots of online chatting! I can't believe it's been over three months since I last saw him, and the memories of that night are still so brightly burned on me that I get shivers just thinking about it sometimes. Even better, apparently he's the same.

We had a long chat earlier this week, mainly as he was moaning that one of the girl he has seen a few times was getting rather clingy. i asked whether she knew what he was like, and that he wasn't looking for a relationship, and he said no. I got quite angry with him actually, told him it was OK to do what he's been doing as long as the girls know the whole story, as I do, and can make up their minds whether they want to go through with it. This particular girl was under the delusion that she was his girlfriend, which SO wasn't goign to happen!

Anyway, he rang me back a couple of hours later, all proud with himself but slightly gutted, to tell me that not only had he set the record straight with her (and he wont be seeing her again!), but he'd also come clean to another girl that he'd taken out a couple of times but not slept with yet....and she doesn't want to see him again either!

I AM proud of him actually, it's taken a lot for him to cut off sources of sex. He's not a bad guy really. Then he started on at me, and why hadn't I seen him recently. So I told him "I don't know what I want....I think I want more than this". He asked whether I was looking for a heavy relationship then and I was like "No, not heavy, something quite light and fun, but with potential......I'm not sure, I just want someone that's mine", so he asked me what my plan was and I told him (jokingly) it was to wait until he was ready to settle down again.

He laughed, but then said "Babe, if that was really what I wanted, you'd be top of my list"

Awwwww, in a total slappery kinda way, he's really sweet and lovely! :)