Yeah - there's loads of little bits and pieces that I keep meaning to say that just don't sit well together - so this is gonna be the chop suey of entries!

Firstly, I appear to hvae got myself a boyfriend that I don't particularly want. Nothing againast him, more against me really. He's been ringing me every night for the past week or so and is really really keen on me. I haven't led him on at all.....I haven't given him any indication that we are going to be 'having a relationship', but I know that is what he wants. I'll call him The Fox.

He's a nice bloke. THAT is the problem. I don't 'do' nice. All my mates think I should though, so I kinda decided to have a go on Wednesday night when the bloke I have been smitten with upset me a bit and I got drunk.

And this happened! It was good....no, hell, it was great. He's a fantastic snogger, got a very mobile tongue (heh heh) and the sex was fun. He's not bad looking, intelligent, funny, owns his own place, has a good job, is still studying to further himself, everyone that's ever met him says what a 'nice bloke' he is. But he is SO keen on me, it feels wrong.

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And he doesn't send me text messages like this:

"Put your best underwear on and run your hands over your body once. Just once and no playing. Think of me xx"

Oh no......now THAT to me felt even more erotic than anything that happened Wednesday night.

This is the guy I'm smitten with. I will call him Oink. He appears in the bullet points here - numbers 3, 8 & 12. Actually, The Fox appears in bullet 13 (hmmmm, unlucky for him).

Oink interests me SO much........but on Wednesday, out of the blue, totally unprompted, I got two separate emails that upset me. (a) "I'm not ready for a relationship and (b) "Shall we have sex then. No strings." I know it seems daft getting upset by that, and then in retaliation, I rang The Fox and met him, and realised I was doing to him just what Oink was trying to do to me. Which makes me feel like evil scum.

We get on really well, we talk for ages....in fact last night, he spoke to me for about 25 minutes even though the munchkin was having a mad half hour and was copying EVERYTHING I was saying etc.......he just thought it was funny. If that had been C, he would have got off the phone immediately.

What do I do?

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It's MLNDN's birthday today, but he never told me exactly when it was until yesterday - which didn't really give me time to prepare for it.......so darling, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! What greater accolade could you get than a public mention?

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It's great when I start feeling like some kind of pimp. I had a guestbook proposition for MFG from this guy. Actually, MFG has been with a guy for 5 weeks now, which is amazing. MLNDN said that's like TWO YEARS in a gay relationship.

I'm impressed!

Thanks tho Todd, MFG was actually on the phone to me when I read the entry......he's flattered and went all girlie for a minute or two!!! ;)

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They're starting to monitor internet access at work. I'm not quite sure whether I believe them, or whether it's some form of thingy.....oh bloody hell, I HATE it when I can't think of a word that I want, I keep wanting to say proposition but I know it isn't.

Anyway, so I'm having to cut down my internet time, just in case, whihc means I wont be able to go on the website as much that I've met everyone from.

They may forget me. I'm not very memorable after all *sob*

Oooo, propaganda - that is the word I was looking for! Hurrah!!