There is so much that has happened this week.

There has really been so much going on that I haven't even known where to begin to write about it all.

I'm going to go to my trusty bullet point style to clear up some of the main details, just so that I get it down, before I lament my probable loss.

* Had a great weekend. Saw The Fox lots........I SO wish that the sex wasn't so fantastic, cos then I could just give him up guilt free.

* Lorna (and she really has actually updated!!!!!) and BD started calling The Fox my 'boyfriend', cos they both saw him on Monday when we'd been lazing around, shagging all day and were quite happily snuggled up on the sofa, complete with Abbi nestled with us.

* I LIKE The Fox. I do. He's a nice bloke. He KNOWS he's nice and hates the fact that he can't change my opinion on that.

* The Fox wants more. He says he doesn't. I can tell. So can everyone else.

* Oink DIDN'T get back with his ex at the weekend. He let me know in an email first thing Tuesday morning.

* I haven't seen The Fox since I found out.

* I saw my EX husband this week. Not my current one, not Mark, but my EX husband (David), who I haven't seen since I was pregnant!!! About 4 years ago! I was really nervous. I needn't have been. Oh. My. GOD, I married such a cute bloke (didn't I Lorna???!!!) He's hardly changed, in fcat probably got better, and he's knocking on a bit. But I can't believe we were ever married. he's so straight. Proper. Decent. Bit like The Fox really, which helped reiterate all that!!!

* Spoken to Oink a hell of a lot this week. Emails, online, on the phone. Even played an online game for the prize of oral sex. I won. I told him I wouldn't claim it. He said HE would've done. I said well, I would have backed out of giving it. He asked why and I wouldn't reply.

* Got very upset yesterday talking to my cousin's husband for ages. He doesn't really talk to anyone. He talks to me. He's dying from a brain tumour and I can't even begin to imagine what the two of them are going through. it made me think. it made me decide not to let opportunities pass me by. It made me try to talk honestly to Oink.

I think, on the whole, the conversation went really well. He said "Gon on then, what do you want to be honest about?", I told him I like him. He said "So, after 2 months of talking online, emailing, texting and chatting loads on the phone, you've rung me to tell me that you like me?". Which helped me tell him that I DO really like him. There was so much said and I was very drunk, felt quite emotional but was trying to keep a cap on it all cos (in his own words), I didn't want to scare him off.

He said that I was ringing him cos I fancy him and want to meet him, I said no, I don't want to meet you. Which shocked him, but then I said "It's not the right time for you" which he agreed with, but said "It's not the right time for you either - you've got a fuck-buddy and a husband"

I explained that the husband was just on paper. (Happy Birthday for yesterday by the way Mark as I'm sure you're still reading this according to my stats - either you or LFT anyway!) He asked whether I just wanted another fuck-buddy and I said definitely not.

There was a lot more said, but he told me he'd talk to me online later as I was standing outside the pub and he wasjust going into a mates house.

When I got home, he wasn't online. He didn't answer the text I sent him when I went to bed either. I think I HAVE scared him off.........and that's killing me! Why couldn't I just have left it????