I have been meaning to include this on an entry ever since I knew that my lovely mate Vanoonoo was signing on and not having a particularly fun time of it.

This was written many years ago by a freind of mine, but I thought I'd share it! :)

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And lo, he stepped into a place unknown, and saw the light. And he saw that it was not good, for it was flourescent, and it did shine with a flickery glare upon the damned below it. And he called this place the "Benefits Office", and there was much wailing and nashing of teeth.

And so it came to pass that he was given a scroll upon which it was written:

(this should look like urdu if you have your fonts set up properly! If not, then get a new emailer. (All that effort I waste on you....))

and many other dialects such as Urdu, Swahili, Guptaraji etc etc, and he did wonder who the hell would have the nerve to claim benefit from a country who's language they could not even speak. And he did emboss upon the parchment "Where is the German, French, Italian, Spanish.....?"

Whereupon he read the commandments, formed as questions in the image of print:

�"What is your name? (by name we mean the thing that you are called)"

�Are you using a pen to write this? (by pen we mean the thing that you are writing with)"

�What make is the pen? Who pays for the pen, and how often?

�Is the pen receiving any extra ink from anywhere else? What kind of ink? How often?

�Does the pen live with a partner? (by "partner" we mean any pen that lives with your pen, such as a Parker, Bic etc)

�Is it ballpoint or fountain? What colour ink does it take?

�Is this pen claiming asylum under false pretences? (if you answer "yes" to this question, you will receive extra money).

And there ended page one;

And so it continued until one rain forest had perished, and the parchment was offered up to the wise one they call "Dave the claimants officer", for he has the power of live and death (or �50 a week, whichever is the lesser). And the young man left, knowing that 2 weeks later he should return to that place once more, and claim gifts of incense, myrh, and 50 quid.

And there ends the story. And the moral is? Jeeez, you want a moral as WELL?

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hee hee! xxxx to Vannie!