I can always tell when I haven't had sex (or the potential to have sex) for a while. i just looked in the mirror while I was getting ready for work this morning and it was horrific!!!

My hair needed a bloody good wash (which it has had now), my eyebrow had turned into catterpillars, my face has like totally erupted (why did everyone buy me chocolate for X,as???), for the same reason, my stomch has bloated an' all, my 'bush' needs a bloody good trim and I have had the same crappy chipped nail varnish on for nearly 2 weeks!

The fact that I didn't sleep much has made my eyes a particularly fetching shade of pink / red too, so all in all I am looking GOOD! Ha ha ha ha!

Actually, I've had a pretty crap couple of days. Sunday night, I couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't work out why. It was horrible. I think I've just been feeling dead dead lonely for the past week really. And I SO need a hug - just a hug would be great.

When Lorna rang me yesterday and said she'd pop over tonight, I was so grateful, I burst into tears yet again. And then NoNoNoNo rang me to check I was OK cos we'd chatted briefly the night before and he could tell I wasn't really myself. He's such a love, I DO like him. *sigh*

Then of course, there's The Fox. I MIGHT see him at the weekend. I miss him. He's been very down lately and I worry about him. But then again, worrying about him means I have less time to worry about me, so I could be just avoiding my own issues.

And I think my main issue is: "Why am I not allowing myself any opportunitites any more?". I'm not stupid, I KNOW when guys are hinting that they'd like to see me again, or that they'd like something a bit more, or in the case of a couple that I've chatted to, they'd like to MEET me. And yet, I am choosing to ignore all their hints, even when I LIKE them and I am making excuses as to why I'm not going out. And then I'm sitting at home alone (EVEN WHEN I DON'T HASVE THE MUNCHKIN) and I'm complaining that I'm lonely and have nothing to do!!! What is my bloody problem?

I think I've had my confidence shattered, and I'm not altogether sure when it happened.