Although I CAN be pretty girlie, i don't tend to be that girlie when it comes to emotions and relationships. but then again I don't do falling in love.

So I'm hating this. I hate that I'm feeling insecure. I don't DO insecure. I spit on insecure, pah! So it's annoying that I'm so paranoid and insecure, as I said in my last entry.

And I tried to tell The Northerner what I was feeling last night, but i was pissed and he was tired. We were in bed, it was about 1am and he was reading a book.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Do you know what I'm feeling? I keep thinking that you're gonna move into this house with your two best mates, get this job, have loads more money and a hell of a lot of freedom, have the dogs around, never be alone, and be able to do just what you want, and you're not gonna need me any more. I'll be surplus to requirements. i'll ahve nothing to offer you.

The Northerner: *patting me on the head and carrying on reading his book without glancing up* Of course you do. you've got a way better cooker than anyone I know!

I was silent and my ghast was well and truly flabbered.

I mentioned it today and he said that (a) he can't remember it (b) he really didn't think I was being serious at all last night and he is SO sorry!

I haven't reminded him yet of what I was trying to tell him. I feel like a prat!