I'm in a strange, strange mood - I can't quite work it out either.

I had a phone call from C late last night. He was drunk and EXTREMELY apologetic about everything, he was really complimentary to me and told me how I'm one of the few people he really feels comfortable talking to about 'things'. He apologised for blowing me out Tuesday night but explained that one of his closest friends killed himself at the weekend. C's never been one for conveying his emotions very well - he's a total lad like that, but it has obviously affected him really badly - and he kept saying that he wanted to see me, wanted to talk to me. I told him he'd had lots of opportunities but he keeps blowing me out, he pointed out that I blow him out quite a lot too, which I couldn't deny, and he said, "Oh, don't get all girlie on me, Son", so I said I wasn't, just that I had to move on a bit and look elsewhere for entertainment. I told him that I'm meeting The Dutchman on Tuesday, and he was quite cool but a little gutted about that. And THEN he said, "You'll be back".

Which is probably true, but, as I said, maybe in a few years again! :)

I've told him to ring me at the weekend, cos he IS my mate, and I AM worried about him and I DON'T like to think of him being down - he's got a lot on his plate at the moment and it's really getting to him. He's normally such a carefree person that it's actually hurts me to talk to him like this, he tries to jolly it all up, but it's there, and I can tell.

I got off the phone and had a bit of a cry to myself. He means a lot to me. I know he is low on the list of favourites of my 'readers', as yesterday's comments show, but to me and the people who know both of us, he IS a good guy, we DO get on well together but we've always had a distinct lack of 'good timing' - it's always wrong for one or both of us!

So - comments I would like today - IF he rings, should I see C at the weekend? And if I do, should it be 'just for a chat as a friend' or otherwise????