I am confusing my self more and more and more on the man front - grrr! What the hell am I playing at?

OK - so I still haven't received a text from C which I am very disappointed in but not particularly surprised! The thing is, he did actually ring me up earlier and was very chatty and didn't completely avois the subject, but didn't give me an answer one way or the other either.

He asked me if I was in a rush to know, and I said that there ARE others that are in interested and that I wasn't trying to blackmail him or anything, but I do want to just give him first refusal so to speak. But I'm not waiting around for ever and I doubt if I'll see him until he's given me a proper answer.

He confuses me as he wont just say "Yeah, lets get on with it" which is rather a put-down in a way, but then he DID say "I know that I can't afford to lose you". And he also keeps talking about things in the future - which isn't very C-like! He was in a fantastic mood tonight - very chatty again, and he said that he'd wanted to ring me most of the night, but he was out on a work's Xmas thing and wanted to give me his full attention. actually - he really wanted to give me his FULL attention in ALL wasy (wey-hey!) but I said no can do as I have the munchkin. AND because I haven't had a straight answer! :)

While I've been 'waiting' for him to come to a decision, I kind of have a tentative date with The Hat on Christmas Eve. The Hat has been fantastic - he rings me every night for about 3 hours, he tells me everything, he listens to me, he's interested in me, we think the same way, we worry about each other..............we're both ready for a serious relationship. And yet, if I could have C..............

So, I need to know before Christmas Eve what it is that C wants, and can offer.....if not, it could well be on to pastures new!

Things I DON'T want to talk about at the moment include doing the first of my Xmas shopping today, having major MAJOR rows with Mark about the munchkin, having the period from hell and actually being a bit disappointed that I'm not pregnant, feeling SO bloody stressed about everything, crying almost continuously because of Mark, crying because I love the munchkin so much and don't like seeing her upset - she never EVER cries, but she did last night................

So - no, I wont go into any of that!

And a great big hug to you cos you need and deserve it!