Background info: When I was going out with C for about 18 months, around 6 years ago, he used to be insured on my car and as he is an absolute crap passenger, he used to drive everywhere.

Location: In my car, driving C to work

Time: About an hour ago

Conversation:

Me: Do you realise, I think this is the first time I've ever driven you anywhere - apart from when you were pissed

C: Yeah - you were a bloody good taxi service after the pub

Me: Bloody cheeky bastard - I must have been mental

C: Well, what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't call on her services when you most need her?

Me: Well, thank God I'm not your girlfriend any more!

C: Well, you're a friend and you're a girl

Me: It's not the same!!!

THERE HEREBY FOLLOWS A LONG PAUSE

Me: That's a point, you never responded to my text

C: I thought I just did

Me: Did you?

C: Well, I said you're my girlfriend didn't I?

Me: Am I?

C: Well, you are........virtually, aren't you?

Me: Erm, yeah, virtually.......

I am not sure what to make of this at the moment, so I am going to digest it for a while, and write a bit more about last night later!!!